Patience With Ourselves

Patience with ourselves is a subject that I think most of us do not take the time to think much about.

Have you ever seen someone trying to learn a new skill, but they don’t seem to get it? The classic example is a kid trying to learn math. I am sure that most of us, if not all, have dreaded memories of racking our brains trying to figure out a math problem. If you are like me, there are times when you threw the book down (or across the room) and just wanted to give up or actually did give up altogether.

How often do we encounter problems or weakness in our lives where we determine that it is just too hard or pointless to keep trying?

I play the guitar and I wish I could play as good as Eric Clapton or Jimmy Hendrix or one of the guitar greats of the world. I often get motivated to practice new things so that I can improve, but sometimes I grow frustrated after an hour because I feel like I am no better at the guitar than I was an hour before.

How many of us get motivated and put in effort, but soon grow frustrated because we did not immediately get the results we desired?

This sounds like a classic weight-loss story, right? Try this diet, do that work-out, buy a gym membership. But after minimal or inconsistent efforts (or sometimes a lot of genuine effort) we eventually grow frustrated or resolve to stop trying.

Goals Teach Patience

Here are a few tips to help us be patient with ourselves:

1. Have a plan and set realistic expectations.
2. Be constant and consistent in your efforts.
3. Give yourself credit for what you accomplish along the way.
4. If all else fails, try again or try a new approach and repeat.

These tips are simply a goal setting pattern. Although we may not realize it, setting goals help us learn to be patient because we have laid out a plan. The neat thing is that setting goals can also help us be patient with others and life’s circumstances.

Worthwhile goals do not require patience, worthwhile goals teach patience. If we genuinely want something bad enough we will set goals toward achieving it. It is easy to picture the ending that we want, but if we never set goals we will always look at that picture from afar. Setting goals is as much about reaching them as it is about learning patience along the way.

Something To Focus On

Have you ever had a list of things to do and found yourself so involved with one item on the list that three hours felt like 30 minutes? Goals help do that for us in a way.

But do not think goals simply distract us. Through goals we actually gain focus and our impatience naturally subsides. Goals help us create stepping stones and set benchmarks. They help us see the bigger picture with an end in mind and how to get there. Goals help us achieve what we have so diligently waited for and worked toward. 

Applying Goals

In a way, patience is a natural by-product of setting worthwhile goals. Setting goals and learning patience with ourselves applies to our lives in dozens of ways. A few include: learning something new; reconciling mistakes; forgiving or gaining forgiveness; overcoming challenges; and turning weaknesses into strengths. Goals can be applied at home, work, school, church, sports and everywhere else.

So if you struggle to be patient with yourself, others or even life, try setting some goals to give yourself focus. You will soon discover patience more naturally in your life.